About MY SYSTEM!!!

Hi! I'm the host of the Verdant system. I am diagnosed with a dissociative disorder, but I do not have a specific diagnosis for what disorder my system is correlated with. I experience alters that are not fully distinct from myself (the host, Verdant). However, I also experience alters that are fully distinct from myself. I have dissociative amnesia in memory and/or emotions from some alters, but not all. I also experience dissociative amnesia without switching between alters. Most alters that front are different versions of myself (see what alters in OSDD-1a are like). I cannot always tell the difference between them, but it can cause issues socially for me. My opinions or behaviors can vary wildly. For example, an alter of mine that exists to cope with/handle school might have an adjusted personality and set of behaviors for that environment rather than at home with my mom. This is different than just choosing to behave differently around others. I often experience amnesia between these switches. It's not controllable. It is my body/mind choosing different alters to cope with different things, beyond my control. I have a lot of alters that are fictional characters, but fictional characters I identify with. Because of this, I don't consider them fully separate parts. I may let some alters post on here. If you know me in real life, you will never meet any of my fully distinct alters. Part of my job as host is gatekeeping alters from fronting, and I'm very good at it with distinct parts. I do not enjoy the stigma around systems, and I don't trust people in real life to understand, accept, or not judge. A lot of people think that people like me just do it to be trendy or cool, but I don't. I've experienced systemhood for a very long time. It really affects my life so much in ways that I will never be able to explain to people, because they won't believe me.